Etiquette

Etiquette is one of the areas in which I find myself rather inadequate. The word originally meant a list. It is a list of the rules of proper conduct. There are many lists and books of varying lengths on various rules of etiquette, but I don’t have the time to figure out which is the best nor the memory capacity to learn a set of more or less arbitrary applications of some long lost principles. I think all the best rules can be summed up in one word. Acknowledgement.

We should acknowledge the people around us. Whether that is by greeting the people we know, by giving our seat to the expectant lady or not shoving the people in front of us in a crowd. Just being aware of the people around us and acknowledging that they are fellow humans.

We should acknowledge the good things others do for us whether it is a service, a gift or their friendship. Acting as if it is owed to us is neither attractive nor necessarily realistic. This can be complicated where there is a feeling of inequality or the inability to return the favour. A giver should acknowledge the difficulty and be careful of the feelings of obligation which can accompany the act of accepting a gift.

We should acknowledge that people have lives outside of us, realise that they have duties and needs outside of us. They may not be able to respond to us as quickly as we would like or be there for us whenever we want them; and knowing that this does not mean they don’t care.

Acknowledgement need not always be expressed in words, but should be reflected in our actions and reactions.